Technomancy

jas0nschupp: Should I fax away?
NikLinna: You're out grocery shopping! Stop sending me instant messages.
*** Auto-response sent to NikLinna: OUT GROCERY SHOPPING STOP BACK SOON STOP
jas0nschupp: I am a technomancer! I can send you messages from the hair care aisle!
NikLinna: What about foot care?
NikLinna: Can you pick me up a bottle of salicylic acid?
jas0nschupp: Quite possibly!
NikLinna: Can you IM me the bottle?
jas0nschupp: That I can't do.
NikLinna: Some technomancer you are.
NikLinna: (go ahead and fax the thingie, by the way)
jas0nschupp: This is more of a telepathic, electrokinetic thing, rather than a matter-transsubstantiation thing.
NikLinna: I don't care. If Star Trek can have transporters, why can't we?
NikLinna: All you have to do is create a mini-singularity bounded by a quantum stability field, and toss the damn bottle in.
NikLinna: What's so hard about that?
NikLinna: They do it all the time in SciFi.
NikLinna: I mean, sheesh.

[chatter] 07.25.03 / 12:57 PM
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Stripped Down

At a further-northside bar, watching strippers coming onto stage wearing shorts and boots, if that:

Me: "Okay, remember when strippers actually had clothes on when they started? They'd actually have to strip, right? And they'd have a theme, like they'd be a fireman or a cowboy or something. What happened to that?"

Him: "They can't afford the clothes anymore. They spent all their money on Nair."

[personalhijinx] 06.03.03 / 11:34 PM
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Billboard

I swear on my pirate goodness that I had nothing to do with this. Mmhmm.

[webland] 06.03.03 / 11:29 PM
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pkRedesign

pk: check out pk.com.
pk: total facelift.
Jason: You know I'm at work, right? :)
pk: yeah. so?
Jason: Ahahahahahahaha!
Jason: Guess it doesn't matter.
pk: not so much. i really don't see the sysadmin folks having the sense to check logs anyhoo.
Jason: What sysadmin folks?
Jason: Here, I *am* the sysadmin folk.
pk: see?
Jason: :p
pk: it's so nervewracking redesigning a giant site like this.
pk: but i'm done. no major explosions.
Jason: Which site?
pk: pk.com
Jason: The porn site?
pk: no, dickhead. patricking.com.
pk: okay, now i gotta see this.
Jason: Seriously, www.pk.com is pr0n.
Jason: Why do you think I brought up the work thing?
pk: oh my. so it is.
Jason: Where the fuck have you been in this conversation?
Jason: Geez.
Jason: I thought maybe you managed to get your hands on pk.com.
pk: in a place where you never mentioned pk.com is a huge porn site.
Jason: Ahahahahahahahaha!
pk: i've never seen anyone do that to a teddy bear defore.
Jason: Oh shit.
Jason: I can't look.
pk: anyway. patricking.com. brand new. go look.
Jason: Just did.
Jason: Pretty.

[chatter] 05.28.03 / 07:31 PM
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Gumball

So what I said about waiting? It pays off sometimes. Woot!

[personalhijinx] 05.28.03 / 11:31 AM
[remember] [say something : 1]

SFOD

Get a preview.

[siteinfo] 05.08.03 / 01:36 AM
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Hate Mail!

Wow! I've just received what might be the first hateful comments on this site ever. It's kind of one of those milestones to see how much you've arrived on the internet, isn't it? Hate mail, spam for porn, solicitations for hosting...

Dear "Ass kicker",

1) Learn to spell, you scab, and
2) I've been weblogging on and off for three and a half years. You and your hate-filled friends are fucking late. Where the hell have you been? Slackers!

So, to my readers that matter, I'm curious to know if you've ever received hateful comments/email from random folks via your weblog, and what you do about it. I'm fine with public ridicule, but I like to know my options.

[siteinfo] 05.06.03 / 11:15 AM
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Submit, Indeed

I've decided that waiting and waiting and waiting for poetry journals to get back to you about your submissions, on top of having your 3/4/5 pieces tied up in the selection process so that you can't submit them elsewhere, is just about the worst prolonged masochism to which you can subject yourself. The fact that the email account I used in submitting has been down for weeks doesn't help, either. Self-made zines, I think that's the next move.

[personalhijinx] 05.06.03 / 10:28 AM
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Sore

I spent the weekend bringing people back to life, crawling forwards and backwards across fields, getting utterly confused at times, being wrent to bloody shreds by a rat, searching a condemned building a comrade found himself in possession of, running from magma flows while escaping from a mountain stronghold, becoming a journeyman with no fanfare whatsoever, rescuing orphans from mind-controlling monsters, sneaking into a drake cave, crumbling the living dead into ash, and discovering that a good friend, recently deceased, had been turned into an undead abomination out for our blood. My legs are still a little sore and I had the best time doing this sort of thing that I've had in a long time.

I am a horrible, hopeless, great big freak-geek, but a happy one. Hoo boy.

[personalhijinx] 05.05.03 / 11:23 AM
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Definition

For those who come to this site looking for a definition to the word "somnolent", here's what somnolent means. Thank you.

[curiouser] 05.01.03 / 01:01 PM
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Love Love Love

Rhapsodie Valette is spreading the love and Snazzykat's having a love-in. Spread the love. Spread it like buttah. Big love!

[webland] 04.28.03 / 10:20 AM
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Music Critics

Jason: It was one of those things I should have expected, but when I actually heard it, it kind of put me a bit sideways.
Jason: Kind of like when earlier this week, the dj on the radio said, "Here's the title track from Ministry's new album".
Casey: Wha...? Ministry has a new album? And it's being played on the radio? Was this independent or college radio?
Jason: Yep, Loyola's station.
Jason: I had to pause at that one. Like, "Nuh-uh." I never thought I'd hear any dj say that ever again.
Casey: Seriously. I stopped listening to Ministry after "Filth Pig" . The one that sounded like Gwar...on Heroin...with all the members of Stryper dead and rotting inside their amplifiers...

[chatter] 04.23.03 / 01:33 PM
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Identity

Sometimes I come across images so fantastic, I feel they must be used in giving a unique identity to a weblog.

Here's one such image. I can only credit the photographer, not the (unknown) original artist.

For your edification, here are some sample header-mockups, with suggested name included, made larger than would be healthy for a weblog:

If someone actually does use these, let me know! I'd be surprised, but stranger things have happened.

[curiouser] 04.22.03 / 06:50 PM
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Holy Fuck

...Quite literally.

Oh yeah. Bless me, Padre. Bless me. Bless me right there.

[webland] 04.17.03 / 08:09 PM
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Morse

Cheers to the Red Line, cheers to my local stop. And to think, I may be moving later in summer to become a Blue-Liner. They've got a nice photo from up top. (From there, follow the street along the buildings below on the right to the next street, make a right, go a block and a half. You're home. If you were me, that is. (Link had been previously known, but I was reminded of it courtesy o' Kris)

[webland] 04.15.03 / 07:43 PM
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ORD to SFO

I'm heading to San Francisco in May, for a little over a week (I get in the afternoon of the 9th, leave late on the 18th). I want to see the Winchester Mystery House, and my SF peeps, but that's about all I have planned. Anyone have any suggestions for what/whom I should see?

[personalhijinx] 04.01.03 / 11:18 AM
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Rent-an-Anacronism

Despite its name and being a cool idea, Knight-4-Hire is not an escort service. Though it does nothing to disprove the theory that the whole medieval-re-enactment thing is kinda queer. I really don't understand why more of us don't dig this or go out and play things like that. I mean, you'd look fantastic, dah-link. (For John's sake, anything.)

[webland] 03.31.03 / 01:05 PM
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Home English Home

Learn to speak English with Home English Home, Lesson 1.

[webland] 03.27.03 / 06:50 PM
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There are many reasons for me to have been quiet lately...

...but the one that's the most fun is that I've been providing color commentary over at Ernie's Puppetmaster 2.

[siteinfo] 03.17.03 / 12:55 PM
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Method Acting

Figures.

[webland] 02.18.03 / 10:40 AM
[remember] [say something : 1]

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